Decision
by daisygirl20
Summary: Meredith finally makes her decision on whether she will stay with Derek or not. Short story, not planning on adding any more chapters.


-1She had been avoiding him in the hallways at Seattle Grace, pretending she didn't hear when he called her name, always making up some excuse to get out of their dates because she wasn't ready. Wasn't ready to make a decision yet. And she knew that she didn't have a lot of time left. Gawd, it was all she thought about everyday, how much time he would give her. How long would he wait? She knew there were other women out there who couldn't wait to snatch him up, who would say "yes, I'm ready" in less than a heartbeat. Women who had never spent more than five minutes with him. So why was it taking her so long? The answer should be simple, if she really loved him that is.

These were the thoughts that ran through her head as she tried to sleep that night. At the hospital that day he had finally cornered her in the supply closet, and instead of kissing her and slowly drawing her scrub top over her head, he had taken her hand and said simply, "I can't wait much longer for you Meredith." It was the one sentence she had been dreading ever since he had said he wanted to be with her for the rest of their lives, and she hadn't been able to respond. She had stood in the closet long after he had left, narrowly missing an important surgery with Dr. Hahn. And even the lecture that Hahn gave her couldn't pull her out of her daze. She had walked around for the rest of her shift with eyes faraway and it took Christina slapping her on the arm to finally tune her into the lunchtime conversation.

"Hello, earth to Meredith," Christina said, "What is wrong with you today?"

"Nothing," Meredith replied, "I'm fine."

"Yeah, right," Christina said with a snort.

Meredith picked at her salad while Izzie went on about how she and George had decided to be friends from now on. She didn't care at all about what Izzie was saying and not just because she was thinking about what Derek said. It seemed like lately Izzie had gotten to overanalyzing everything going on with her (Izzie) and George.

After her shift ended Meredith drove to the docks in Seattle and boarded a ferry that would take her from Seattle to Bainbridge Island, approximately a 35 minute ride each way. She knew ferry rides were one of Derek's favorite parts of Seattle and she wanted to feel close to him when she made this decision but not actually in his presence. It would also give her plenty of peace and quiet with no one she knew to distract her.

Meredith first took a seat in one of the cushioned chairs next to a big rain sprinkled window but then decided to actually head out to the bow of the ship. There was nobody else out there as it was about 40 degrees and raining, and she had the whole area to herself. Meredith closed her eyes and let the wind blow her hair out of her face just enjoying being in the moment and being alive. Finally as it began to dump rain on her head she went inside again.

As she sat down with a cup of coffee she ruminated over all the times they had had together, from sex in the on call room to drinks at Joe's, she thought about everything they had done and said. Somewhere in her heart she knew she didn't want to give him up, couldn't give him up. But she also didn't know if she could commit to him for the rest of her life.

What Meredith didn't know as she sat there lost in thought was that there was somebody on board who knew her, but he didn't plan on distracting her. At least not yet anyway. Derek Shepherd sat across the ferry from Meredith watching her stare out the window. He knew what she was thinking about but couldn't tell from her facial expressions what that final decision was. Derek knew what he wanted it to be, but he wouldn't let himself try to sway her in his direction. It had to be her call.

Meredith still hadn't seen Derek watching her, but she did notice how many happy couples there seemed to be riding the ferry that day. Two early twenties kids in matching UW sweatshirts were buying snacks and laughing. An elderly couple sat at a booth, him reading the paper and her knitting a small powder blue baby hat. As the older woman leaned over to pick up her yarn, he caught her hand and gave it a kiss. "_That's what I want_" thought Meredith. That one little kiss between a man and a woman who looked like they had been together for fifty years sealed the deal for Meredith. She knew what her answer would be, and she couldn't wait to tell him.

The change in her body language told Derek that she had made her decision and by the small smile on her face he was pretty confident that she had chosen him. He couldn't wait any longer. Derek stood up and made his way slowly over to where she was sitting.

"Hey," he said.

She looked up in surprise hardly believing at first that he had ended up on the same random ferry ride that she had chosen.

He saw the puzzlement in her face at the coincidence and quickly explained, "When ever I need to figure something out or am waiting to hear a decision that could change my life," he said with a smile, "this is the ferry ride I take because it's so beautiful and calming."

"Do you want to go outside and talk?" she asked.

"It's raining."

"So?" she said and took his hand to lead him out on the deck.

Once they were standing out in the wind she turned so that they were facing each other.

"I made my decision."

"I thought you had," he replied.

"I might have been nervous or hedging around my final answer before but now I know and I'm positive," Meredith told him with a small look of apology on her face for the days she had tortured him without giving a response to his profession of love.

Meredith paused and then said with a look of complete devotion in her eyes, "Derek Shepherd, I love you."

With that she threw her arms around his neck and gave him a kiss that told him she would always stand by him for the rest of her life.


End file.
